life is really shitty right now. I find myself lonely and sad. I am so pathetic that the only thing that has made me happy this week is the memories of suicide file from last Sunday. My car is broken again, and I am really sick. People aren't always what they seem, and no matter how much we love them and want them to change, we should realize they won't. No one deserves to feel like shit, especially coming from someone close to you. Oh, well life is shit right now and I don't really see a light at the end of the tunnel. I am tired of being optimistic cause all it does it hurt worse when things fuck up. Story of my life, maybe I will just turn into a crabby bitch and treat people mean, and then maybe I will get respect. But why should I compromise my character just so people won't walk all over me. FUCK THAT!!!!! I don't know what I want anymore, or how I feel inside. I am all fucked up and don't really have a clue how to fix it. I wish someone cared enough about me for once to try and help me fix myself. I am always everyone else's punching bag and crutch. When will someone give them self to me? "we can't tell what we want from what we need, or which one matters more. it's all spinning mobile, it's all a catchy lullaby. everything is gonna be alright so suck your thumb."